Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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