we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
