Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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