butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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