we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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