I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
