i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
