I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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