Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
this hospital has no fireball
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
