Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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