You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
