Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
