hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
