Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
