I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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