I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
