ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
