you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Your penis caused this!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
