I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
