No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize