I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
