So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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