She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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