I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
