Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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