I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
