David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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