I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
