I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
