I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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