He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
