two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
