yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Drunk is a universal language darling
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
