My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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