checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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