Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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