is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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