At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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