i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize