hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
