Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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