ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
