Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize