are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
