I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
