I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
