mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Who died my cat blue again?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
