dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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