my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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