i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
that may or may not have been my penis.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
