last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
