Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
