Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
