It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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