The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
