Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
