Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
