people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
