i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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