so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
