I bet he comes in French.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize