Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
soo... how was my night?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
