Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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