yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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