LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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