I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
